Friday, December 26, 2008

Pay $67,00 hospital bill for maid? Not me

i don't get many chances to read the newspaper, whether online or offline (alas, one of the hazards of being a full-time SAHM). But if i do, i get very irritated when i read stories about errant maids, unfair employment laws and MOM officials who seem to live in a cloud in a sky... (and who seem to have never had kids or to hire maids to look after them)

So i was particularly disturbed when i read about the story of this maid, Nina, who got pregnant, kept it from her employer, managed to escape detection by the doctor, went to KKH, got herself an expensive caesarean operation to deliver the baby and chalked up $67,000 in hospital bills!!

Guess who the hospital is now chasing for payment - her employer!!

i find this so ridiculous, almost as ridiculous as the story of the other maid who climbed out of the window of her agent's flat, fell 6 or so storeys down and injured herself so badly she incurred more than $70,000 in hospital bills - all of which were sent to her employer.

Why do such stupid things happen to such stupid people (the maids, i mean)?? Does the government honestly and reasonably expect non-corporate employers - many of whom are young couples trying to raise young children under a tight budget - to bear responsibility for ALL the medical and hospitalisation costs of their FDWs, without limit?? If even big companies and their insurance firms know how to impose limitations on the amount of medical benefits they mete out to employees, how much more should non-corporate employers?? It just doesn't make any sense.

So i took out my pen (er, MS Word) and started writing (typing) a letter to ST Forum. It was a bit long, so i don't know if they'll publish it (they have published 3 of my letters before, but those were short and sweet :-). Let's hope that even if they don't, MOM officials will wake up one day and realise how much damage they're doing with their one-size-fits-all regulations that don't fit in with how things really work in the real world.


Your recent story about an employer who was made responsible for the $67,000 hospital bill of her errant maid raises many alarming issues for all the FDW employers here in Singapore.

Firstly, in the working world, there are very few (and possibly none) companies or employers who are required, by law, to pay ALL medical and hospital bills of their employees, without limit. Most corporate employers rely on insurance plans to cover their employees’ medical costs; and these insurance plans (or corporate health policies) will normally impose a limit on how much an employee may claim towards his medical or hospitalisation costs. Not only is this fair to both the employer and employee, it also prevents irresponsible behaviour on the employee’s part (e.g. deliberate self-injury).

Many health plans also impose conditions that exclude certain medical claims, such as in the case of illegitimate births or pregnancies/conditions that were not declared prior to the start of the insurance period.

Recently, the Ministry of Manpower made it compulsory for all FDW employers to purchase medical insurance for their maids. Even though this increased the financial burden of hiring maids, many employers had no choice but to comply with this new requirement.

Since all FDWs are now covered by medical insurance, employers should no longer be made responsible for all other health, medical or dental costs that their maids incur while working here in Singapore. This would not only be fairer to the employer, it would also prevent the FDW from taking unfair advantage of her employer.

Secondly, it is time that the Ministry of Manpower implements laws and regulations that protect FDW employers as well. As taxpayers who pay $170 or more every month for the right to hire maids, surely we deserve better than to be on the losing end every time an errant maid gets pregnant, does her job badly, steals our money or breaks her contract prematurely.

For example, in cases where the maid is clearly in the wrong or has done something illegal, she should bear responsibility for all her own medical or repatriation costs. In the case of Nina who delivered at KKH without informing her employer, both she and her friend Shushma should be held responsible for the $67,000 bill. Another party that could be held liable is the doctor who failed to detect her pregnancy in the first place.

Another question that has to be asked is this: Why did the hospital admit Nina in the first place, knowing that she was an FDW (hence illegal for her to deliver a baby in Singapore)? If the undertaking signed by her friend (presumably a maid too) was to be deemed worthless by the hospital, why did they accept this undertaking in the first place and not seek consent from her employer instead?

Monday, November 17, 2008

Wrong Priorities Harming Children

By Suganthi Suparmaniam, Laviinia Dhanangunan and Ili Liyana Mokhtar

(Although this article was written in Malaysia, i found it pertinent and relevant to modern parenting life in Singapore too)

KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA: Four children go missing every day. One in three children has mental health problems.One in 11 children scored straight As in their Ujian Pencapaian Sekolah Rendah this year.

These figures and the growing legion of obese children, with rising cases of Type 2 diabetes, high-blood pressure and high cholesterol level, have got experts wondering whether Malaysians have got their priorities right -- focusing on educational excellence to the detriment of the children's safety and health.

They are questioning if the misplaced focus could be the cause of the woes facing children.

The medical profession has blamed parents' indulgence for the growing number of obese children and health problems such as diabetes, high-blood pressure and high cholesterol level.

Sri Murugan Centre director and founder Datuk Dr M. Thambirajah said everything began with the family unit.

He said in the past, teachers took it upon themselves to play the dual role of educator and parent.

"But today, because of the workload and pressure to perform, they can no longer play the dual role. It is unfair to expect that from them."

Thambirajah said children from middle-class families faced competition every day in examinations, piano lessons, art classes and others. He said these children faced stress.
Human Dynamic child counsellor Wong Yee Men agreed that children were stressed out these days, but disagreed that this problem was confined to middle-class families.

"Today, both parents have their own careers. Children want their parents to spend time with them, period."

Wong said she had seen an increase in referral cases from parents, teachers and counsellors for children with behavioural problems, learning difficulties or even emotional blockages.

"I feel the root problem lies with the parents."

Wong said parents often brought back their "baggage" from work and this would have an adverse impact on the child's life.

"For example, because of a bad day at work, the parent could have snapped at the child over a simple matter like watching television. This will stress out the child."

Children's safety has also become a crucial issue.

With more than 8,000 children reported missing over the last five years and more than 500 in the first six months of this year, experts are wringing their hands on what can be done.

Even the missing children alert system remains just a proposal.

Health-wise, our children are not doing too good, either.

Children as young as 7 are developing Type 2 diabetes as a result of their couch-potato lifestyle and high-calorie food.

Hospital Putrajaya, the referral hospital for diabetes cases in the country, has been recording an "alarming" increase in the number of cases.

Hospital Putrajaya paediatrics department head Dr Fuziah Md Zain said children with a propensity for Type 2 diabetes were usually the youngest in the family.

"We believe that because the youngest child is usually the pet in the family, parents give in to their demands for high-calorie food."

The latest National Health and Morbidity Study showed that 20 per cent of children and teenagers in Malaysia have mental ailments.

The figure was 13 per cent in 1996.

Gleneagles Medical Centre Penang consultant psychiatrist Dr Zasmani Shafiee, during a Family Day gathering last month, said some 130,000 Malaysian children and adolescents suffered mental illnesses.

Selayang Hospital saw a 300 per cent increase in the number of children seeking psychiatric help in the past four years.

HELP University College's developmental and counselling psychologist Dr Brendan J. Gomez said depression, stress, violence and suicide were on the rise among young people.

"It is a really worrying trend, and we want to try and address that problem right now."

Universiti Teknologi Mara's Faculty of Medicine consultant psychiatrist Associate Professor Dr Osman Chik Bakar disagreed that parents should be blamed for the malaise.

"Genetically, children are not the same, so parents need to approach their children by how they respond. Sometimes, a child can respond just by communicating with the parents.

"Other times, a more forceful approach is needed."

He said other factors could also contribute to stress experienced by children such as influence from peers, media and Internet.

"We can't protect our children from everything.

"After all, we live in very challenging times where everything is made available to them."

National Union of the Teaching Profession secretary-general Lok Yim Pheng said parents could control and monitor younger children but it was not that easy with older ones.

"Parents should control their children but just how much can they control them?

"Cyber cafes, for example, are like a magnet for children.

"If the attraction is too great, how much can the parents control their children?"

Lok said the authorities should not allow cyber cafes to operate near schools and should stop schoolchildren from entering them.

"If it is difficult for the child to enter the cyber cafe, I think he or she will have no choice but to go home."

Women's Aid Organisation executive director Ivy Josiah said it was insensitive to place the blame on parents alone, as keeping a child safe was the responsibility of the whole community.

She said the focus should not be on parents but on creating a safer environment for children.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Obama and Abortion

Did you know that Barrack Osama (oops, sorry i meant Obama ;-) is one of the most extreme pro-abortion candidates ever to seek the Presidential Office of the United States?

According to articles like this (http://www.thepublicdiscourse.com/viewarticle.php?selectedarticle=2008.10.14_George_Robert_Obama's%20Abortion%20Extremism_.xml) and videos like this one (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfL_H7zg1QI&feature=related), Obama is NOT only pro-abortion, but he is pro-infanticide too. This means that if a baby were to survive a late-term abortion, he believes that he/she should be left outside to die. In 2002, he voted AGAINST the Induced Infant Liability Act, which would have protected babies like these. As an Illinois legislator, he also voted against a bill that would give babies who survived abortions the same rights as other babies.

He is extreme because he is not only pro-choice (which could be defined as supporting the right of a woman to choose abortion in certain circumstances but also respecting pro-life Americans not to fund abortions with their tax dollars or to implicate themselves in other feticides), but pro-abortion in all its forms.

"Just for the sake of argument, though, let us assume that there could be a morally meaningful distinction between being "pro-abortion" and being "pro-choice." Who would qualify for the latter description? Barack Obama certainly would not. For, unlike his running mate Joe Biden, Obama does not think that abortion is a purely private choice that public authority should refrain from getting involved in. Now, Senator Biden is hardly pro-life. He believes that the killing of the unborn should be legally permitted and relatively unencumbered. But unlike Obama, at least Biden has sometimes opposed using taxpayer dollars to fund abortion, thereby leaving Americans free to choose not to implicate themselves in it. If we stretch things to create a meaningful category called "pro-choice," then Biden might be a plausible candidate for the label; at least on occasions when he respects your choice or mine not to facilitate deliberate feticide.

The same cannot be said for Barack Obama. For starters, he supports legislation that would repeal the Hyde Amendment, which protects pro-life citizens from having to pay for abortions that are not necessary to save the life of the mother and are not the result of rape or incest. The abortion industry laments that this longstanding federal law, according to the pro-abortion group NARAL, "forces about half the women who would otherwise have abortions to carry unintended pregnancies to term and bear children against their wishes instead." In other words, a whole lot of people who are alive today would have been exterminated in utero were it not for the Hyde Amendment. Obama has promised to reverse the situation so that abortions that the industry complains are not happening (because the federal government is not subsidizing them) would happen. That is why people who profit from abortion love Obama even more than they do his running mate.

But this barely scratches the surface of Obama's extremism. He has promised that "the first thing I'd do as President is sign the Freedom of Choice Act" (known as FOCA). This proposed legislation would create a federally guaranteed "fundamental right" to abortion through all nine months of pregnancy, including, as Cardinal Justin Rigali of Philadelphia has noted in a statement condemning the proposed Act, "a right to abort a fully developed child in the final weeks for undefined 'health' reasons." In essence, FOCA would abolish virtually every existing state and federal limitation on abortion, including parental consent and notification laws for minors, state and federal funding restrictions on abortion, and conscience protections for pro-life citizens working in the health-care industry-protections against being forced to participate in the practice of abortion or else lose their jobs. The pro-abortion National Organization for Women has proclaimed with approval that FOCA would "sweep away hundreds of anti-abortion laws [and] policies." (Robert George, The Witherspoon Institute)

In this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDX52pEC7_w&feature=related) Jill Stanek talks about Barrack Obama's reaction during her testimony about how as a nurse, she witnessed many babies who were born alive and then left to die. He was unmoved, and even later opposed the Born Alive Infant Protection Act. For your info, on a federal level, EVERY Democrat in the U.S. Senate has supported this Act (including Clinton, Kerry, Kennedy, Boxer, etc) and even the hard-core pro-abortion group NARAL didn't oppose it. BUT Obama was the only one who voted against it!

In speeches like this one (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i0faPpO0CaY), Obama - in the same breath that he uses to describe his own daughters as "miracles" - implies that having a baby would be akin to being punished.

If you don't know what late-term abortion is, watch these:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=THS2zZ4m260&feature=related (The Silent Scream)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCVVXbAOSko (Killing Girls Documentary)


By the way, Barrack Obama himself was born as a result of a teenage pregnancy. By his own measure, then, does he consider himself as a "punishment" to his own mother?

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Home Birth Story on Shin Min Daily News


Okie, what a strange week this has been. On Tuesday morning, my doula Diane called me to ask if somebody from the Shin Min Daily News could call me for an interview. i was surprised. the reporter had heard about our "accidental" home birth story and wanted to write about it for the newspaper... (actually, my first reaction was, "it's going to be in Chinese?!?!" :-b

So, i got a call that evening. Pauline Lee, the reporter, was pleasant and nice. She asked me so many questions about Naomi's home birth, i felt like i was reliving the experience again! :-)

(Many people, btw, ask me if the interview was conducted in English or Chinese. Well, i told Pauline my chinese not that "powderful", so better answer her in English. She then wrote the article in Chinese lah...)


The next morning, i received an SMS from Pauline asking me for some photos of me and baby Naomi as the story would be coming out that day. Whoa, that was fast!! i quickly sent her some photos to choose from and told hubby to buy a copy of the Shin Min Newspaper after work that day. i was so shocked when he told me (by SMS) "You and baby Naomi made it to front page :)"

(Notice how Fann Wong + Chris Lee's wedding date is prominently displayed beneath our photo?? *Heh heh*)


Anyway, this is basically what the article says:


Young lady goes to toilet with abdominal pains. Shocked to feel baby's head emerge. Gave birth to baby at home in a few seconds.


Young lady goes to toilet with abdominal pains. Shocked to feelbaby's head emerge. Gave birth to baby at home in a few seconds. She rushed to the living room, squatted on her son's mattress and withina few seconds, the baby was born.


Picture of mum & baby: Mdm Teo could not get to the hospital in time this July and gave birth to daughter at home.


Picture of kids: Both of Mdm Teo's children are "naughty" and couldnot wait to see the world.


Mdm Teo: I wasn't worried at all.


A young lady living in a condo in central Singapore (31 years, housewife) laughingly recounted her experience and said that shewasn't worried at all. Mdm Teo said that on the morning of July 19, she was at her grandmother's house when her waterbag suddenly broke. She rushed home and called Diana, her doula, to come and be with her at home.


As Mdm Teo almost could not get to the hospital in time for her previous pregnancy, her doula suggested that they should leave for the hospital immediately.


At this time, Mdm Teo felt a stomachache and decided to use the toilet before her husband sent her to the hospital. But when she went to the toilet, she already felt her baby's head emerging.


The scene was a big mess and my husband was tired out cleaning up.


"It was very chaotic. My husband and the doula were tripping over themselves scuttering around using material and towels to line the mattress ih the living room. I squatted on top and in a while, mydaughter fell into my husband's arms."


According to Mdm Teo, the scene was messy with lots of cleaning up to do. Her husband was so tired that he fell asleep on the mattress."When my daughter was born, I breastfed her immediately and waitedfor 3.5 hours before my placenta was delivered. My doula helped me to cut the cord and we then went to the hospital for a check up."


According to Mdm Teo, her daughter wegithed 3.1kg and was healthy at birth.


"I was initially afraid of giving birth but both my deliveries were so easy. There is little incentive for housewives to have morechildren, so I'm not planning for a third child yet."


Elder son could not wait either. Almost born in car.


Mdm Teo's elder son was almost born in the car. "My first delivery was similar. My waterbag broke when I woke up in the morning."


According to Mdm Teo, who gave birth to her elder son in 2004, she felt a stomachache and the urge to use the toilet. Little did sheknow that those were contractions. A few hours laters, she felt that she couldn't stand properly and her legs were shivering. That waswhen she knew she was about to give birth.


"My husband drove us to the hospital. Thankfully my doula was with me all the way. I tried hard not to push in the car so the child willnot come out. He was born shortly after we arrived at the hospital."


Many many thanks to Monica from Asiaparents forum for the translation!! :-)


Author's note: Heh, i think they sensationalised a bit lah. My baby didn't really come out in just "a few seconds" - "few minutes" would have been more like it ;-) Also, the scene wasn't really that chaotic, since we had already prepared the plastic sheet and towels in advance before i went to the toilet - in fact, it was actually quite calm and orderly in my home!


And, even though i asserted to the reporter many times that it was my faith in God, reading about Supernatural Childbirth, etc that dispelled my fear of childbirth, she didn't mention that at all :-/


(Rumour has it that this article appeared in The New Paper too!! Did anyone see it?? :-)



Joy of Placenta - featured on Asian Parent!

Have you heard of TheAsianParent.com??

i didn't, until about a week ago when the editor of this parenting website contacted me about my blog post "The Joy of Placenta". Apparently, somebody had given her a link to this page and she found it so interesting and intriguing that she wanted my permission to feature it on her website!!

Of course, i said yes. i couldn't really think of a reason to say no. So, there you have it - visit TheAsianParent.com and tell me what you think!! :-)

Friday, September 19, 2008

Sunday, September 14, 2008

The Joy of Placenta

Okay, this may be a squeamish topic for some... But there ARE people out there who DO keep their placenta after giving birth to their children... Some bury them, some keep them in the freezer (and dunno do what), some make art printworks out of them, some cook them and eat them!

i'm not one of the brave ones who dare to make spaghetti sauce out of placenta meat and eat it with pasta(!!!), but i was very intrigued by the rumoured nutritional qualities of placenta and hey, it is said that all mammals eat their own placenta, right? After experiencing a terribly long and tiring recovery period for my first birth, i decided that i would try and harness the nutritional qualities of my second placenta to aid in my recovery from my second birth...

Thanks to the internet and a friend that i made from Asiaparents Forum who shared with me her experience with preparing placenta, this is what i learnt to do with it:

First, you have to freeze or chill the placenta as soon as possible after delivery :-) As my second child was born at home, i really wanted to chuck it into the freezer right after it popped out but... my doctor indicated that he wanted to examine the placenta at the hospital so my doula put it into a freezer bag with ice packs (which she had prepared in advance) and took it to the hospital for us. (She later took it home to freeze it for us and then sent it back to my place after my discharge from hospital)

Next, you have to clean it really well. (If chilled, prepare the placenta as soon as possible so it is "fresh". If frozen, of course must thaw first lah...) My confinement nanny graciously helped me to do this. We weren't really sure if there was a "proper" method of washing the placenta so we just rinsed it several times until the water ran clear (i.e. slightly pink instead of dark red). There was a huge blood clot/bloody tissue which my nanny threw away but in retrospect, i wasn't sure if we were supposed to keep that piece of blood thing :-b


This is what a cleaned placenta looks like


Now, some people find the smell of placenta a little urrgh, so the nice folks at Eu Yan Sang (actually somebody called Mr Ang who is quite knowledgeable about placenta preparation) gave me a small packet of herbs to use with it:


After squeezing half a lemon over the placenta and adding a capful of DOM (if you like), throw the herbs over the placenta together with a few slices of ginger (all these will help to dispel the unpleasant smell):

Squeezing the lemon in


What it looks like just before steaming


The next thing to do is to steam it over low heat for 20 minutes on each side (i.e. you steam it for 20 minutes, then turn the placenta over and steam again for another 20 minutes):


After the first 20 minutes



After steaming is completed on both sides - the placenta shrinks quite a bit!



Now what you need to do is to wait for it to cool down a bit and then slice it into thin pieces - as thin as you can - sort of like making beef jerky:





It really should be thinner than this - would make the drying process much easier!

Place the placenta strips on wax paper or a metal tray to dry out in the sun (best method), in an air-conditioned room (okay but watch out for dust and ants) or in a food dehydrator/oven on lowest setting.




This is how much one placenta yields - doesn't look like alot huh?


Drying the placenta strips on a metal tray under a light

You have to make sure that the strips are completely dry (feeling brittle to the touch) before pounding them into powder for consumption. Some people choose to eat this powder by, e.g. adding it to soup while cooking. i preferred to have it sent to Eu Yan Sang where they powdered the dried strips for me and then encapsulated the powder together with some ginseng for my consumption:


The final product!

Tip: Try encapsulating the placenta powder together with some ginseng (pao sheng) or cordyceps if you don't want the smell of placenta to be too overpowering.....





Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Beauty Sleep

Gack. i have 2 HUGE eye bags under my eyes. BIG and DARK. i need to sleep more.....

2 Great Women

From the impoverished mining town of Kampar, Perak, came two women.

Born in the same year, 1961, they went to the same local primary school and shared the same teachers, shared the same dreams.

One was an orphan who lived with somebody she called "grandmother"; at the age of 15 she left for Singapore where she supported herself through school and eventually graduated with a Chemistry degree from NUS.

After working 3 years for a major pharmaceutical company, she started her own company using money raised from selling her own car and condominium. After much hard work, her company eventually became listed on SESDAQ and is now worth more than S$1 billion. And she is the only woman to have made it to Forbes' Southeast Asia Rich List. Yes, she is Olivia Lum...

The other woman, on the other hand, got married, moved to Ipoh and became a stay-at-home mum to 4 children. After they grew up and went to college, she went out to work as a confinement nanny.

Yes, she is my confinement nanny. For the past 7 weeks, I have seen how hardworking these Kampar women are; she wakes up at 6 am to prepare herbs, make breakfast, bathe the baby, babysit for me so I can sleep in a little; starts preparing lunch at 10 am, washes up after I've eaten at 12; does the laundry, sweep and mop the floor, cleans the toilet if it's dirty; takes a short nap when the baby is asleep, sends SMSes to her children on her handphone; gets up at 4.30 to help me when my son reaches home from school; starts preparing dinner at 5 pm; makes milk and food for my son when he's hungry; serves hubby and me before rushing off to take a shower as she's in a complete sweat; comes back to clean up, wash up and then have her own dinner; carries the baby into the room (but not before changing her nappy - for the 5th or 6th time), helps to burp her after her milk feeds, rocks her to sleep whenever she wakes up, changes her clothes whenever they get wet or dirty, wakes up in the middle of the night whenever baby cries and carries her into my room (and back again after each feed), the list goes on.... Oh, and did I ever tell you she makes the yummiest char siew I have ever tasted?

As a stay-home-mum myself who often feel left out by government policies (which always seem to favour and esteem working women over SAHMs), I pondered upon these 2 very different women who display very similar qualities. Both are extremely hardworking. Both are dedicated to their work. Both know how to stay focused in order to achieve their goals. But one is a childless, high-achieving career woman while the other is a mother of 4 with no academic track record or corporate credentials on her resume.

Which type of woman does our Singapore government esteem more? They do seem to regard the first one as having an intrinsic economic value whereas the second one does not. After all, how do you put a monetary value on the work that a stay-home-mum does at home? Salary.com may have given us some clues, but it is difficult to arrive at an exact figure when formulating policies in this area. However, it would be great if our government could take that first step towards recognising stay-home-mums first, and the intrinsic economic value that they, too, contribute to the country. After all, we are nation-building too. :-)